How to Build a Life You Love? — Leveraging the Interconnection Between Discipline and Self Love

Discipline is a form of self-love. If you know something is right and beneficial for you, you will automatically be inclined to do it more dedicatedly.

Most people can’t keep up with their New Year’s resolutions, and they cite a lack of discipline as the reason. But it is actually a lack of self-love. When you cultivate self-love, it is easier to prioritize actions that nurture your well-being and future. This self-awareness helps you become more disciplined because you’re not just following rules or forcing yourself into routines; you’re actively choosing what’s best for you.

For instance, if you know a particular food isn’t good for you, you will automatically avoid it out of love for your health. Similarly, if working hard aligns with your goal of a better lifestyle, you’re more likely to follow through, not out of obligation but a desire to achieve more.

Another reason people can’t maintain discipline in their goals is because they view it as a test of willpower instead of a path toward self-care. When you reframe discipline as an act of self-love, it transforms into something positive and empowering.

Each disciplined action, from exercise to managing time, becomes a way of honoring yourself and building a life that reflects who you want to be. It’s all about the mindset!

Focusing on how goal-oriented actions make you a better, happier version of yourself strengthens self-love and discipline, making goal achievement a natural outcome rather than a constant struggle.

Introducing discipline and self-love into your life can significantly enhance your ability to achieve goals by fostering consistency, focus, and resilience. It can build a foundation for sustained goal achievement.

1. Set Clear Intentions

Clearly understand why your goals are important. Write down what you aim to achieve. Linking your goals to personal values, like health, growth, or happiness, will give you a powerful motivator and reminder of self-love.

Recently, I’ve set a goal of upskilling to meet the changing content industry requirements. I’ve started tracking progress and writing down what I’ll do with the additional income to keep myself going. I’ve targeted to earn and save for an international trip by the end of 2024 :)

2. Prioritize Self-Care Routines

Create daily or weekly self-care practices that reinforce self-love, like exercising, journaling, meditating, or preparing nourishing meals. When you prioritize these practices, you nurture your mind and body, which makes it easier to remain disciplined in other areas.

Three months ago, I started journaling, and it has made a significant difference. I write down my daily affirmations, which have helped me connect with my inner self and become calmer. Through this activity, I release most of my anxiety. I also pamper myself with a face mask, hair mask, or a healthy meal at least once a week.

3. Break Down Goals into Small, Manageable Steps

Large goals can feel overwhelming and deter consistency. So, break them down into small, achievable steps. For example, I wanted to build physical strength and get back into shape. I started with a 1.2-mile walk per day and gradually built it up, adding more rigorous exercises. This practice helped me remain motivated and committed. On days when I felt stiff, I didn’t miss my walk. I showed up every day for at least those 30 minutes to walk 1.2 miles.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Discipline doesn’t mean being harsh with yourself. Embrace a mindset of self-compassion and acknowledge that setbacks are part of the journey.

There are days when I miss journaling, going for a walk, or learning new things due to time constraints. But I don’t give up. I avoid self-criticism. Instead, I engage in self-talk to motivate myself, reaffirm my commitment, and restart the next day with the same determination and positivity.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Recognizing and celebrating your progress, even in small ways, reinforces self-love and motivates you to stay disciplined. Take time to appreciate your efforts, whether it’s completing a week of workouts or sticking to a new habit.

I treat myself to junk food, a spa, a movie, a meet-up with friends, a good cup of coffee, or random shopping. The frequency and degree of celebration vary depending on the goal. For instance, it’s tougher for me to stay committed and achieve my work goals consistently for a long time. So, I celebrate more frequently. Rewarding yourself builds a positive connection with your disciplined actions.

6. Visualize Your Ideal Self

Every day, spend a few minutes visualizing your ideal self and the benefits of achieving your goals. This keeps you focused on why discipline matters and connects it to the love and respect you have for yourself and your future.

The best way to visualize your goals is to create a vision board. But remember to make it as exciting and decorative as possible. Put pictures of your goals, favorite quotes, achievements, appreciation you’ve received, and the setbacks and your learnings from them.

7. Reflect and Adjust Regularly

Reflect on your routine and goals every week. Ask yourself what’s working, what’s not, and where you might need to adjust. This process strengthens discipline and shows self-love by honoring your unique needs and progress.

My productivity is higher in the evening. Even if I try hard, the creative juices begin to flow after 4:00 PM. So, I have to adjust my routine to manage regular activities and basic tasks during the early hours of the day and shift the creative ones to the evening.

8. Build a Routine that Feels Good

Lastly, design a routine that balances discipline and enjoyment. Include things that make you happy, energize you, and align with your values. Staying disciplined will be more natural and rewarding when your routine feels fulfilling. Blend in activities like visiting the mall, meeting friends and family, playing games, and reading a book into your routine to make it fulfilling.

These steps help you view discipline as a supportive structure that fuels self-love and growth rather than rigid rules. Achieving a goal becomes easier and more streamlined if you attach it to how it can improve your life. When you focus on the outcome and how particular actions can make you a better version of yourself, your chances of being disciplined increase.