How to Deal with Criticism Positively?

Ignace it!

Before you search Google for the meaning of this term, let me tell you that this term is coined by me after combining two words — ignore and embrace. And that’s exactly what you need to do to handle criticism.

As a young girl, I often read stories with moral lessons. Today, I’m going to share one such story with you.

There was once a budding painter, somewhere around his late twenties. He was training under a renowned teacher and learning the art of painting. One day, the painter painted a beautiful picture. He showed it to his master. The master said, “Amazing! This is one of your finest works.” But the young painter wasn’t sure if the world would also appreciate his work. He asked his master, “Is there something I can improve? Will other people also like my work?” The master said, “You are turning out to be a great painter, but there’s something important I want you to learn today.”

The master then asked the painter to put up the painting at a street crossing and leave a note beside it saying — If you think this painting has scope for improvement, please put a red sticker on it. The young painter did exactly as the master had instructed.

The street was a busy one. Many people looked at the painting and several of them pasted red stickers on it. By the end of the day, the painting was almost covered in red.

Seeing this, the painter was disheartened. He left the painting at the crossing and returned to the master. The master asked him not to get disheartened. Instead, bring the painting back, remove all the stickers, and put it up again on the street the next day. The painter was surprised and asked, “No one liked my work, why should I put it up again?” The master explained, “This time, your message on the painting should say — Please help me improve this painting.”

The painter, unconvinced, followed the master’s instructions. He left a few pages of paper and a pen beside the painting for people to write their feedback. At the end of the day, he realized that there were ONLY THREE messages. And all three suggested the same improvement.

He returned to the master and shared the experience. The master then explained the two types of criticism and the art of dealing with them.

On Day 1, the painter received what is known as Destructive Criticism. Many people felt that the painting can improve, and therefore, expressed their opinion by placing the red sticker on it. This type of criticism is popular at home, at school, and in the workplace. You’ll hear people around you passing comments like:

• You’re wrong.
• You didn’t do this right.
• You’re so annoying.
• You don’t look good in that dress.
• You can do better.
• You cannot do this.
• Let it be. I’ll take care of it.

Here, you need to act smart and try to IGNORE the comments. Many people get sad or defensive, but what is important to realize is that if you keep thinking about it, destructive criticism will only let you down.

Some people tend to be critical. They find something wrong in every place, situation, person, assignment, and more. They are not trained to give or receive criticism that is helpful and appreciative.

On Day 2, the painter received what is called Constructive Criticism. People shared WHERE and HOW the painting can be improved. Remember to EMBRACE such feedback. This type of criticism is for your individual welfare and growth.

If you want to make the best of Constructive Criticism, follow the simple seven steps below:

1. Listen

Pay attention to what is being said. If required, ask questions to completely understand the criticism. For instance, if your boss tells you that you can do better on the task, with the use of xyz software, accept the suggestion. Don’t presume that the boss didn’t like your work.

2. Assume good intentions

If a person is providing ‘constructive’ criticism, he/she is spending time to understand your weaknesses and then find solutions to help you overcome the same. Appreciate the help and support and try to follow the suggestions.

3. Avoid defensiveness

Don’t listen to reply. Don’t make excuses. A change, improvement, or betterment in your life is for your good.

4. Look at criticism as help

Since childhood, we’ve viewed criticism in a negative light, but there’s also positive criticism. Constructive feedback, even when negative, is a sign that people care and want to help you do better. Those who notice that you are doing bad work and continue to stay silent are worse critics than the ones helping you out.

5. Remember to learn

No one is perfect, and mistakes are human. Sometimes, your point of view may be different from that of others but if you feel that the results aren’t what you expected, try to learn and change. If you make the same mistakes again and again and deny to accept feedback, you are just being stubborn.

6. Don’t take it personally

We all have our share of good and bad qualities. If someone is criticizing your work, it doesn’t mean to say that you are a bad person. If someone is criticizing your habits, it doesn’t indicate that you don’t have any good at all. It only means that it is time to move from good to better to best.

7. Say Thank You

When a person gives you feedback and solutions to improve, he/she shows an interest. Thank the person for their interest and their comments.

Like I mentioned in my last post, COVID-19 has given all of us time to introspect, alter our thought processes, identify and overcome our fears, and expand our lives.

I’ve been handling criticism differently for the last few months, and it has shown ‘real’ results. I am a content writer. When my client said that learning technology and SEO algorithms can improve my writing skills, I reduced my screen time (Netflix included, haha) to read guides and blogs about the industry.

I watched many product tutorials. Not just that, I tried to understand the hardware of my laptop and how it made a difference to the user’s performance. The quality of my writing has improved tremendously with a better understanding of tech vocabulary, and the time needed to complete a post is much lesser.

There are many such changes that I have seen in my life. If you want to know more about them, leave in your comments and I’d love to chat. For now, whenever you come across criticism, remember to IGNACE it.