Make the Most of Envy to Grow in Life

Envious Hug

Have you ever felt envious of a colleague, peer, or friend? I’m sure you have. You don’t like the fact that she remains slim even after eating everything fried, cheesy while you gain weight even if you eat just one extra piece of pizza. You are jealous of a colleague at work because he finishes all the tasks assigned to him and you keep slogging with your to-do list. You are jealous of your sibling because she scores better and gets all the attention. The examples are endless and there are many such situations in daily life.

Most often, we don’t know how to deal with the burning emotion of envy — jealousy. We start developing negative thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, we go to the extent of saying — “I wish she forgets everything in the exam and doesn’t get good marks” or “I wish he can’t finish his work and the boss scolds him today.”

In certain extreme situations, we also take action to spoil the other person’s work/reputation. For instance, we plan something that keeps the colleague busy so that he doesn’t have time to finish his tasks. Or we take our sibling out to the park to play reducing her time to study. Or we forcibly make our friend eat cheesy pasta and only eat a salad ourselves.

Some people also start developing emotions of hatred. They cannot tolerate the other person’s presence. They would start speaking ill about that person and for personal satisfaction, create a group of friends who hate him/her.

However, there’s an interesting technique that can help you not only deal with people you are envious of but also grow and succeed. It is one of the gems we have received from the Turkish poet — Rumi.

He says — Envy is Non-Acceptance of Good in Others. If We Accept That Good, It Becomes Inspiration.

We all have role models we look up to — celebrities, CEOs, innovators, designers, bloggers, leaders, cricketers, famous personalities, etc. We all want to follow their footsteps, their success mantra. They serve as an inspiration in our lives.

Then WHY can’t we take the person right in front of us as an inspiration. This person right in front of us is doing things right. This person is a mini-version of that big idol we have. Instead of wasting our time and energy thinking what X can do and we can’t, why don’t we spend time learning from their actions and pushing ourselves?

So, next time you feel jealous of someone, here’s what you need to do:

1. Find out what they do differently: Does your colleague come in earlier? Does he focus on work while you’re engaging with other colleagues? Does he also work at home? Does he delegate the work? Observe the differences.
2. Try and adopt the strategies: Once you know what works for him, put it in your schedule. Push yourself to move a step up.
3. Know where you excel: Each person has their positives. While you know what your colleague is good at, also identify your strengths. Polish your strengths so that you grow individually.
4. Look at the bigger picture: Don’t remain focused on how you need to do better than your colleague or how you need to ‘copy’ what he is doing. Have an individual goal. Keep that goal in mind and continue moving forward.
5. Be addicted to bettering yourself: A common emotion that develops with jealousy is the feeling of competition. You want to grow only to be seen better than the other person. Trash that feeling in the dustbin and focus on yourself. Make the effort to be a better YOU each day.

And that’s it! If you start getting inspired by the person you are jealous of, you’ve set out on the path to success. No one can stop you from winning. Start now and make the most of this ‘usually’ negative emotion called ENVY.